Conversational Change

I first heard the phrase “conversational change” during a training I attended in 1998.  The idea was that people could sit down together as equals, and with some good, learnable skills, one could help another to make an important change or gain something valuable - within the simple context of a conversation.

The idea of conversational change has continued to motivate and inspire me for more than 20 years now. Two years after the above-mentioned seminar, I discovered the newly developing field of professional coaching. It was just the right moment in my professional life, and I was quickly able to jump enthusiastically and wholeheartedly into coach training. Coaching is a venue where I authentically share in and experience the power of conversational change. It is the most wonderful work! Here are a few of the reasons why I am so fond of using conversation as a platform for change:

First, our very existence is already one of constant conversation. When we are not speaking with others, we are speaking with ourselves, as in “self-talk.” Much of our everyday thinking consists of internally asking questions of ourselves and answering them. That’s conversing! While sleeping, we dream, and the subconscious mind joins the conversation. To raise the quality of your conversations, is to raise the quality of your leadership, your relationships, and your life.

Second, as the saying goes, “Two heads are better than one.” In a safe, nonjudgmental environment where you do not have to manage the way your thoughts tumble out, you have a chance to witness and examine your inner conversations in a different light. Your coach will ask you questions designed to draw out and clarify your beliefs, values, and motivations. Sometimes even the simple act of speaking about what is going on with you is enough to begin to create a shift in your thinking, if that is something you want.

Third, coaching conversations are respectful of you, your values, purpose, and mission, your natural style, and pace. You even drive the agenda! 

For example, there you are, moving at top speed to fulfill your 5- or 10-year vision. Suddenly, it’s all Covid-19 all the time! The shifts you may need to make to refocus your resources, energy, short term goals, etc., will be addressed immediately in your coaching conversations. Because you drive the agenda, your coaching conversations will pivot quickly and easily to fit the needs of the moment.

Fourth, conversations are inherently powerful. Brain science continues to feed us information about the power of our thoughts, beliefs, and words, toward ourselves and each other. That power is always on! In coaching, we seek to create conversations that lead to a better future – solving problems, innovating, and reaching milestones. If your inner conversations aren’t being focused in the direction of your goals and aspirations, then you may find them busy digging deeper trenches in unwanted, outdated habits; those old ways of thinking and behaving that work against the very future you seek to create.

The bottom line: Your inner and outer conversations are “always on,” and for better or worse, they are powerful. Coaching harnesses the natural power of conversation, creating awareness, discovering motivations, and generating strategies that will get you where you want to go.