the Best Advice

The first time I saw coaching demonstrated more than 20 years ago, I was amazed. 

On the surface it was a simple conversation. The environment of the interaction was one of mutual respect and positivity. Both coach and client were natural and unforced, despite never having met before that day. Curiosity, listening, questions, and discoveries led to a slight shift in the client’s outlook and future actions. There was no judgment, no pushing; no motivational speech or talk of willpower. I could see as the demonstration ended, that the client was clear, hopeful, confident, and intentional about his goal and his next steps.

If you are underwhelmed by the above description, I would understand. It sounds like a good conversation but not an unusual one to have with, say, a close friend or trusted mentor. But I saw something special and profound and worth pursuing: The coach helped the client access his own inner advice, which he then naturally took and ran with.

I was a personal growth junkie back then. I read books and attended seminars. There was a seemingly endless supply of great advice readily available, and of course that’s even more true in today’s world. I understood the importance of growth and the need for change, and I was all in. But there was a lot of surfac-y behavior modification and will power involved. Changes made were not sustainable over the long haul.

Until I encountered coaching, I didn’t know of any method for change that is so natural, respectful and impactful.

Coaching is a powerful tool that helps people move through the inevitable challenges they face when they identify a goal and pursue it, whether that be an organizational goal or a personal one. Coaches assist clients by asking questions that enable new and more resourceful lines of thought to form. As new perspectives are generated, additional choices become available, and clients move forward more freely.

Success through coaching comes from the work of two experts - client and coach. The client’s expertise is vast! It’s a lifetime of accumulated resources such as knowledge and experience, values, personal qualities, traits, inner wisdom and intuition. The coach’s expertise is in drawing that out of the client and into the conversation, giving a voice to the keen insight it provides.

Here is a saying from the famously wise King Solomon, that I take as a great description of coaching: “Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out.”

Most of us can say that at some point we have received some pretty amazing advice. But at the time it was given, we were either unable or unwilling to make use of it. The same holds true for small and large organizations - great advice, frequently obtained at great cost, can utterly fail to be utilized.

In contrast, your own inner advice might not be as expertly packaged or as “sexy” as the consultant’s counsel. But you are more likely to follow it! After all, who knows more about you and your situation than you? Your inner advice is highly useful and practical because it “gets” you. The challenge is that it can be difficult to access by yourself. It can be hard to give voice to, for a variety of reasons.

So when you find yourself in need of some great advice that you will actually take, consider bringing in a coach who knows how to help you discover your own in-house expert!